It is so hard to believe that school is into its second month. Halloween and Quinlan’s birthday are just around the corner and today is the first real rain we’ve had since July. All so hard to believe, it is like I am living in a world that is on fast forward.
I know that living life in fast forward is not how my kids see life. Sometimes it is just so very slow for them. Quinlan feels like he is living in the slowest moving world right now as he waits for his first field trip to the pumpkin patch and for his 4th birthday to FINALLY come. This week was especially hard because of the holiday Monday. Everyday Quinlan asks what we are doing and if his birthday is tomorrow, or is his field trip today. Meanwhile I can’t believe that his 4th birthday is in two weeks, that the Halloween Haunt I volunteered to be on the planning committee for is in two weeks and my sister is coming in two weeks. Yes they are all on the same day. I still need to send out the invitation for Quinlan’s party. I still need to get everything for the Haunt. I still need to figure out what else we’re getting for Quinlan’s birthday. I still need to figure out a costume for me to wear to the Haunt. I still need to make sure that Aidan wants to be Harry Potter for Halloween. All these I still needs make me a little crazy and I wonder why I don’t get on them more quickly.
Living in a world of fast forward whild your kids are in a life of slow time but still running ahead makes for a lot of confusion and chaos. How can I make them understand that I don’t like being the big meanie that makes them get dressed and get their shoes on so we can get out the door and not have to go full tilt so as not to be late for school. I hate being rushed and I can’t seem to help it. I am sure it is as frustrating for them as it is for me.
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I wrote this last week and I was trying to finish the draft. I decided that even though it is a week late I will just publish. I think sometimes instead of working for perfection I should be working to just write and hit that publish button. I know that not everything will be great, but how am I to get better if I don’t actually put anything out there. So here I am, putting the words out there. I feel like I am struggling with many versions of time at the same time and it is chaotic and confusing and frustrating. Who else feels the same way?