When Mom Central Canada gave me the opportunity to read and review Alyson Schafer’s “Ain’t Misbehavin’ Tactics for Tantrums, Meltdowns, Bedtime Blues and Other Perfectly Normal Kid Behaviours,” and interview her, I jumped at the chance. I have been reading Alyson’s blog on and off for a while and I like her easy writing style and excerpts of the book on her blog were easy to read, and easy to understand the solutions she suggests.
The book is set up so that you don’t have to read it all, though it is an enlightening read, you can just go to the parts that are relevant to your situation and read about the behaviour in a few minutes. The behaviour is described, then understanding the problem where Alyson sets out why your child might be displaying the miss-behaviour, and then a solution. Some solutions are quick and easy and others will take some time to implement, but they almost all boil down to respect for your child and letting go of some of the control/angst you have about the behaviour.
Looking through the contents of Ain’t Misbehavin’ you might be encouraged more by the fact that the behaviour that is causing you so much angst is also causing other parents angst. Sometimes just knowing that you are not alone makes it easier to release the pressure and make the problem go away. Who hasn’t worried about toilet training, sleep issues, a picky eater or a child who takes forever to get dressed? That a book has advice about something that has been driving us crazy is great.
I think the section of the book that resonated the most for me was the little section (though alluded to throughout the book) titled “Never Do For A Child What a Child Can Do For Himself.” I am raising my hand meekly right now. I am one of those parents that get frustrated and then do for my sons what I know they are quite capable doing. I need to take a bit of time and back off. That is not to say that there are not consequences, but they are natural and logical consequences.
The letting go and respecting your child’s control over things like getting dressed, or ready for bed, is very hard. Children know how to push your buttons like no one else. Easing the pressure we feel to be perfect parents and letting our children be, we can make things easier. I am trying this with my own sons. I respect that Quinlan is not ready to get rid of the diapers and go to the toilet. I am giving Aidan a morning routine so I am not constantly trying to get him dressed and worrying about being late. It has alread helped with getting ready for bed, I tell him that I will read to him until a certain time and I won’t start until he is ready for bed. The time it takes for him to get ready has reduced dramatically.
Tell me why you want a copy of Alyson Schafer’s Ain’t Misbehavin‘ in the comments by Friday April 15 6pm PST.
Contest is open to Canada and the US.
I will choose the winner randomly and send the winner an email. You will have 48 hours to send me your address or I will choose another winner.
Mom Central Canada will send a copy to the lucky winner.
I am participating in the Ain’t Misbehavin’ program by Mom Central on behalf of Wiley Publishing. I received a copy of the book to review and gift card as a thank you for my participation. The opinions on this blog are my own.