I am trying to start traditions with Aidan that he will cherish when he is older. Ah, who am I kidding, right now they are for me. We started decorating the Christmas tree yesterday and today we had our Advent carol service. I would have done it last week but the snow was a bit of a pain. It was actually a good thing to have postponed and after a rocky start (people were late for the warm up/sound check this morning) all went really well and a lot of people who wouldn’t have usually seen it were there. This is the first year I did the main organization for the service and I swear everything that could go wrong beforehand did. We lost an organist due to a family emergency, we had two other organists take over at the last minute, and while they were good, it was still a rocky beginning. I don’t think we had one rehearsal that has all of the choir present due to illness and other commitments. This morning my flute almost lost a screw and for a while the b flat was non existent, which was a problem in an e flat major piece. Despite this, we made it through and all of the slip-ups in the actual service were very minor and no-one noticed but the choir itself.
Advent is a very special time for me. I love the build up to Christmas. I love the actual advent wreath and the family aspect to the lighting of the candles and taking the time to reflect on the meaning of Christmas. I want Aidan to have that same sense of waiting for Jesus to be born. I want him to find something more than the waiting for Santa, though I want him to be excited about that as well. We are using the advent calendars to build-up the season, and to get him to understand what is coming.
I am not even sure where I am going with this, I am a little confused. I love all the tacky Christmas stuff, and I sometimes have a hard time reconciling this to the actual reason for the season. But then I realize that the real reason I love all this stuff is the way it makes me feel. I miss my family, but I love the memories. I also love making new ones with Anthony and Aidan. I can’t wait to see Aidan’s excited face when he sees the tree and the presents beneath. I can’t wait to see him ripping open the presents and telling me once more, “I love Christmas Mommy.”