This is a post I have been thinking about for awhile now. I am a stay at home mom for now and I have found something that really bothers me. Why is it that your childless friends think that your time is not as valuable as theirs is?
Now I am not saying that all my friends do this to me all the time, but there have been quite a few instances in the last few months where we have made a date to get together and the friend has bailed at the last second or called after they were supposed to be there. I understand that they have busy lives and when they call up and ask what I am doing later in the afternoon I am usually going to respond, “Nothing.” However, what I mean by “nothing” is probably not what they think it is. I am going to try to get Aidan down for a nap. I am after that, going for a walk somewhere with him so that he doesn’t turn into Tantrum Boy.
If I am waiting for a friend to come over, and if then said boy gets up early I am trying to entertain him until that friend is supposed to show up. Sometimes the boy sleeps later and that also messes things up, but only if the friend actually makes it to my house on time. I would chalk it up to just the one friend, but it has happened to me with others too. I know they had good reasons for being much later than they anticipated, and I can understand that. What I don’t understand is people not calling to let me know they are going to be late or that they are going to blow me off entirely.
How much, in the time of cell phones, and they all have them, does it take to let someone know you are going to be late? A minute? Two? Or if we have made plans earlier in the week, the day before whatever, just call me in the morning if you don’t think you are going to make it. That would piss me off much less. I am adaptable. I can make other plans. It is the holding pattern that you get in if you have plans with someone and half an hour after they were supposed to be there, then they call, that pisses me off.
People, stay at home moms do have a life. I am glad to have you in mine, but please, for the love of god, call if you are going to be late. That is all I ask!
(Anyone agree on this? Or am I just being a bitch?)
I agree! No, you’re not a bitch. You are being reasonable. Of course, I’ve found it’s not just childless people who do this. I had a friend with kids who I could regularly depend on to cancel a get together at the last minute. Either a child had gotten sick, or something had come up. If it weren’t for the fact that I have plenty of other friends to reassure my fragile ego, I’d think she was trying to avoid me!
I have been a stay at home Mom for 30+ years and loved every moment of it. Unfortunately working moms(sometimes I think it is jealously)think that you are not using your potential but I think it is harder to be a stay at home than a working Mom. And yes your time is very valuable because your child or children depend upon you for entertainment and that takes planning. People should respect your time as it is just important as theirs.
Love