A New Year

Posted on April 7, 2010 by Gwen

Today I turned 37 and I begin my 38th year of life.  In many ways for me my birthday is much more significant as a start to a new year than January 1st.  In fact my birthday is second only to the start of a new school year for the feelings of newness.

Today I was woken by my five year old and was entertained with his reading of the birthday card he picked out for me.  It is a card that keeps unfolding until it has a huge heart saying “I Love You.”  Aidan read this to me in the best voice, that sounded a lot like an Ethel Mermen (sp?) imitation, not that either of us have actually heard her real voice.  He then asked me how old I was.  When I told Aidan that I was 37 he asked in all seriousness, “Is 37 more than 100?”  I tell you we had a quick lesson in counting and less than greater than with regards to 37 and 100.  I am happy to report that Aidan now knows definitively that 37 is MUCH less than 100.

It is now really late and the post I was planning with a recap of things I accomplished as a 36 year old and a list of goals for my year as a 37 year old will have to wait until tomorrow. Until then Happy Birthday to me and a big thank you to my mom for having me.

Posted in Birthdays, goals, Gwen | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

An Ugly Day

Posted on April 6, 2010 by Gwen

Today I had what I call an ugly day.  Not a day in which other people are ugly to me, not a day where my surroundings are ugly, but a day where I feel ugly.

I try really hard not to take myself too seriously, and I try to ignore my weight and just wear clothes that suit my body type.  Some times though I look at myself in the mirror, look at my hair with no style because I am growing it out, the spot(s) on my face, the redness of my cheeks, the puffy round face and I think my god that person is ugly.  Then I cry.

When I don’t worry about my weight and just eat normally I tend to lose between 10 to 15 pounds.  My clothes fall off at the waist and I start to care about whether or not I can go down another size. As soon as I start to care, take notice, my 10 to 15 pounds comes right back on.  Then I end up where I am now, with a wardrobe that spans two sizes and neither fit well. I start feeling like I can never aspire to be a fashionable person because everybody knows fat people can’t be fashionable.  Or well at least people with big busts and fat can’t be fashionable.

I look at some people and their blogs and tweets and while I think that it is fabulous that they are able to go down from their size 10 body, I must admit it makes me feel even worse about myself.  I know that that is not the intention of these tweets and blog posts at all.  They are just telling the author’s stories.  They are not making judgements about how I look.  They are talking about how they aren’t comfortable in the bodies they have now and how they want to change them.

I guess part of the reason I feel bad when I read these posts is that I would love to be the 165 pound girl that moved to BC 12 years ago.  How can I aspire to be a 165 pound girl and have it be enough?  It is ok to want to be a size 11?  Should I be aspiring to be a 120 pound girl?  Will it make me feel any better about myself or will I still have the same insecurities that come from having a large bust and a squishy stomach area?

Sigh.  I will just chalk this up to an ugly day and go on from there. I know my husband thinks I am attractive, and my boys love me for who I am.  That is a lot. Now I just need to fix my brain.

Posted in Gwen, Me | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

Opera Links

Posted on April 5, 2010 by Gwen

I don’t usually do link posts but I am starting to think that some of the more interesting sites and stories that I enjoy or make me think are things others may enjoy.

The first two  in this series have to do with Opera, at least one is an opera and the other is opera related.  On CBC’s Q this morning Jian was chatting with the creator of the BariHunks blog.  This blog was built on the premise that there are quite a few handsome baritones on opera stages around the world, some of whom take off their shirts while on stage. Well I decided to check it out and while I am not really a fan or inclined to pour through their archives, it might be interesting for some who think that all opera singers are great of girth.

I was thinking about what the creator, Michael Rice, was saying about the path that opera is starting to follow.  If we are looking more for looks than beautiful voices I think that opera will lose much of what it is supposed to be. On the other hand I have no problem with marrying the right look for a part as long as the singer has a good voice.  I remember how odd it was to be in the cast of  Don Giovanni in my undergrad days with the new singing professor as the lead. It was actually uncomfortable for a lot of the cast.  He was playing a cheating cad and womanizer and was going after the lead which was a girl in her second year of the program, a 19 year old.  So should the roles of Romeo and Juliet be played by older men and women? Should the young roles be played by younger people? Should the best voices get the parts if they don’t have the physical characteristics that we imagine these charatcers to have?  I don’t know, but it is something I may explore more in another post.

The next opera related link is for the Vancouver Opera Blog and for their new show The Marriage of Figaro. I have been reading the blog for since last spring and I am hoping at one point to be one of the bloggers they invite to live blog their performances.  Oddly enough, or not as the case may be, Daniel Okulitch, who plays Figaro in this production, is one of the  very featured BariHunks.

The Vancouver Opera has been really using social media over the last year to bring their operas to a wider audience.  I think they have been very sucessful. I really like the backstage tweets on select performances. You can follow them on twitter @VancouverOpera.

If you haven’t been before check out The Marriage of Figaro April 24, 27, 29, May 1, 4, 2010 at 7:30 pm at Queen Elizabeth Theatre.

Posted in Aidan | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-04-04

Posted on April 4, 2010 by Gwen
  • Spring cleaning is now leading to rolling of coin. Trying to remember how many for each. #braindead #
  • Corn bread in the oven. I figured it was ok since the power has been back for a while now. Mmm Johnny cake. #
  • I went almost the whole day without tweeting. I wish I could say I was doing something more productive, but alas, I am not sure what. #
  • Watching pvr'd Dancing with the Stars and Aidan asks: Can I be on that when I grow up? Answer: Yes, you just need to become mildly famous. #
  • Mmm, feeling like vera's for dinner tonight. Think I can convince my husband? 😀 #
  • As A was going out with his dad I noticed that his track pants were very short. Turns out he had Q's on. No wonder they fall off Q's butt. #
  • I am using the easter bunny like Santa. "The easter bunny won't come unless the house is clean." The boy was very helpful w/cleaning today. #
  • Happy Birthday to @raaspberrykids! Have a great day and remember birthday cake has no calories! 😀 #
  • While cold and windy, the sun managed to peek out for Aidan's birthday celebration at the Burnaby Central railway. Kids & rents had a blast. #
  • RT @LeftCoastMama: Happy Birthday to @raspberrykids! Have a great day and remember birthday cake has no calories! 😀 (spelling correct now) #
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Comments Off on Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-04-04